04-02

日常对话:哈尔兹篇 • 1月4日:恋爱商谈(一)
最后更新: 2023年11月8日 下午1:42

心岩镇——哈尔兹的家的客厅

哈尔兹在镇魂之森悼念完毕后,回到了自己家。

哈尔兹

妈,我回来了。

还有,我恋爱了。

(走向哈尔兹,把手放在他头上)你没有发烧吧?

哈尔兹

你这话真失礼。

我是真的有喜欢的人了。

是谁家的孩子那么可怜?是华瑞莉吗?我去和她爸妈道个歉。

哈尔兹

不是啦!!

给你看照片!(拿出手机)

哇~~好可爱的孩子!!

我也很喜欢!

哈尔兹

是吧!你儿子看人的眼光不会错的!

这么可爱的孩子竟然被我儿子喜欢,真对不起她父母。

哈尔兹

你真的是我亲妈吗?

哈哈,开玩笑啦。

几岁?

哈尔兹

十八岁。

妈批准了。

哈尔兹

好快!

反正她成年了嘛!

你也快成年,快毕业了,也没什么理由说不批准的。

哈尔兹

呃……这么说也对。

问题是,怎么追?

直接告白吗?

……

什么?我没听错吧?

你再讲一遍?

哈尔兹

直接告白吗?

大错特错!!!(连续手刀)

你这样,她不去报警都不行!(继续手刀)

哈尔兹

(挡刀)需要说到这样吗?我的脸并没有长得很色、很变态啊!

不是脸的问题,是行动的问题!(不停手刀)

哈尔兹

(继续挡刀)那我该怎么办啊?我知道怎么做就不需要恋爱咨询啊!

(停止手刀)先做朋友,多聊天,深入了解对方吧。

哈尔兹

哈?

哈什么?不聊天,不认识彼此,当什么男女朋友?

哈尔兹

可是,爸以前总说,你们是一见钟情的啊。

一见钟情,也是需要深入了解吧?

我们聊了一个月,才正式在一起的。

一见钟情也是之后谈起,才知道的。

哈尔兹

真的吗?

臭儿子,连妈说的话都不信!?(再来手刀)

哈尔兹

(再来挡刀)对、对不起!我知错了!我信!我信!

(停止手刀)总结来说,去聊天吧!

现在有PokeBook,随时都能聊,还真方便。

啊,还有,别太着急,也别太在意结果。

哈尔兹

诶?为什么?

喜欢归喜欢,缘分归缘分。

注定在一起的话,最后会在一起的。

要分开的话,最后还是会分开的。(看着客厅的全家福)

哈尔兹

人生果然很复杂。

总之,就是我控制不了结果?

嗯。所以,做现在能做的事情吧。

还有,还没确认关系前,别开口闭口都“宝贝”、“Honey”、“Darling”的。

这些是渣男才会做的。

记得,别只是说自己的,多让对方说。

不需要急着展现自己。

那些整天吹嘘自己有多好多好的,本质上绝对是烂人。

哈尔兹

原来如此。(抄笔记)

恋爱真是一个复杂的话题。

有些事情,简单很美好。但有些事情,复杂也很美好。

哈尔兹

涨知识了。

妈,谢谢你。(走上楼,开始作战)

祝你好运,也祝你幸福哦♥


Toggle Devtools

h3:心岩镇——哈尔兹的家的客厅
哈尔兹在镇魂之森悼念完毕后,回到了自己家。
哈尔兹:妈,我回来了。
哈尔兹:还有,我恋爱了。
妈:(走向哈尔兹,把手放在他头上)你没有发烧吧?
哈尔兹:你这话真失礼。
哈尔兹:我是真的有喜欢的人了。
妈:是谁家的孩子那么可怜?是华瑞莉吗?我去和她爸妈道个歉。
哈尔兹:不是啦!!
哈尔兹:给你看照片!(拿出手机)
妈:哇~~好可爱的孩子!!
妈:我也很喜欢!
哈尔兹:是吧!你儿子看人的眼光不会错的!
妈:这么可爱的孩子竟然被我儿子喜欢,真对不起她父母。
哈尔兹:你真的是我亲妈吗?
妈:哈哈,开玩笑啦。
妈:几岁?
哈尔兹:十八岁。
妈:妈批准了。
哈尔兹:好快!
妈:反正她成年了嘛!
妈:你也快成年,快毕业了,也没什么理由说不批准的。
哈尔兹:呃……这么说也对。
哈尔兹:问题是,怎么追?
哈尔兹:直接告白吗?
妈:……
妈:什么?我没听错吧?
妈:你再讲一遍?
哈尔兹:直接告白吗?
妈:大错特错!!!(连续手刀)
妈:你这样,她不去报警都不行!(继续手刀)
哈尔兹:(挡刀)需要说到这样吗?我的脸并没有长得很色、很变态啊!
妈:不是脸的问题,是行动的问题!(不停手刀)
哈尔兹:(继续挡刀)那我该怎么办啊?我知道怎么做就不需要恋爱咨询啊!
妈:(停止手刀)先做朋友,多聊天,深入了解对方吧。
哈尔兹:哈?
妈:哈什么?不聊天,不认识彼此,当什么男女朋友?
哈尔兹:可是,爸以前总说,你们是一见钟情的啊。
妈:一见钟情,也是需要深入了解吧?
妈:我们聊了一个月,才正式在一起的。
妈:一见钟情也是之后谈起,才知道的。
哈尔兹:真的吗?
妈:臭儿子,连妈说的话都不信!?(再来手刀)
哈尔兹:(再来挡刀)对、对不起!我知错了!我信!我信!
妈:(停止手刀)总结来说,去聊天吧!
妈:现在有PokeBook,随时都能聊,还真方便。
妈:啊,还有,别太着急,也别太在意结果。
哈尔兹:诶?为什么?
妈:喜欢归喜欢,缘分归缘分。
妈:注定在一起的话,最后会在一起的。
妈:要分开的话,最后还是会分开的。(看着客厅的全家福)
哈尔兹:人生果然很复杂。
哈尔兹:总之,就是我控制不了结果?
妈:嗯。所以,做现在能做的事情吧。
妈:还有,还没确认关系前,别开口闭口都“宝贝”、“Honey”、“Darling”的。
妈:这些是渣男才会做的。
妈:记得,别只是说自己的,多让对方说。
妈:不需要急着展现自己。
妈:那些整天吹嘘自己有多好多好的,本质上绝对是烂人。
哈尔兹:原来如此。(抄笔记)
哈尔兹:恋爱真是一个复杂的话题。
妈:有些事情,简单很美好。但有些事情,复杂也很美好。
哈尔兹:涨知识了。
哈尔兹:妈,谢谢你。(走上楼,开始作战)
妈:祝你好运,也祝你幸福哦♥


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